The Identity Anchor: Define It or Be Defined

In 2023, I stood at the edge of entrepreneurial collapse.

My company was growing extremely fast—but so was my stress.

I was overwhelmed, under-resourced, and questioning whether I was even built for this.

Blow after blow.

Revenue instability.

Team shifts.

Personal doubt.

I was ready to quit, but I was in too deep.

And in a moment of desperation, I did something I rarely do—I asked for help.

Not strategy.

Not sales scripts.

I asked. I sought. I knocked. And I found.

You see, it's thoughts, habits, behaviors, and abilities that condition us to believe in the person we are to be.

They feed the ego.

They keep us stuck in a rut.

And at the time, I saw myself as a struggling business owner, overwhelmed and unclear on how to turn things around.

It's through our self-image that we picture ourselves and cement our futures.

And quite often, we frame our identities through our lived experiences.

Things changed when I saw myself free, prospering, and happy.

The great thing is that we can change who we are by embracing new experiences.

This can be accomplished in one of two ways - through actual experience or synthetically.

Science agrees that the human nervous system is incapable of distinguishing between actual experience and a vividly imagined experience in complete detail.

By focusing on lack, stress, and failure, we create in ourselves an immersive experience that feels real and frames our limitations and self-image.

Since our minds do not know the difference, why not practice holding the self-image of the person you most want to be?

This is the person you can become.

A person who is happy, has vitality, and solves problems with ease.

Use your spare moments to concentrate on your goals and the greater success you seek.

First, analyze your past successes and formulate ways to improve your future.

That's exactly what I did.

And from there, the next step revealed itself.

Then I knew either my environment needed to change or my support system needed to evolve.

What followed was life-changing.

🔑 The goal:

ANCHOR MY SELF-IDENTITY!

🔓 The Result:

I found a community of legacy-driven leaders who helped me do the deep work—

✅ To redefine who I was as a leader.
✅ To rebuild not just my business... but to find myself.
✅ To remember who I was before the performance, the pressure, and the titles.

In short...

NOTHING has shaped my success more than anchoring my identity.

• It gave me the courage to define myself by calling, not circumstance—my last achievement or mistake.

• It reminded me that legacy begins with identity—not income, titles, or influence.

• It fueled my growth because I stopped trying to prove who I thought I needed to be... and started showing up as who I was always meant to be.

And that’s why I’m finally sharing the story I’ve held so close for too long:

But now, speaking as someone who's seen BOTH sides of the equation...

... I feel it's time to do my duty and share The Identity Anchor: Define It or Be Defined.

If you’re a leader, builder, or visionary—chances are, you’ve fallen into the same trap.

When someone asks, “What do you do?”

You lead with a title, role, or position... not with the truth of who you really are.

Let’s change that.

Let me fill you in on the EXACT questions to ask yourself and reflect on how to make sure you're not just identifying with a title, but you're a testimony in motion.

💭 Ask Yourself:

A. Who have I been trying to prove myself to be?

B. What labels or roles have I outgrown but still cling to?

C. What 3 words describe who I am—without any titles?

D. What does God say about who I am that I’ve forgotten?

So, I challenge you TODAY to use the 4 prompts above to either find yourself or deepen your relationshp with who you were called to be.

📣 Your Challenge:

Take 15 minutes today. Reflect. Journal.
Reconnect with who you really are—not just what you do.

And if you’re already in the process of anchoring your identity, I’d love to hear your story.

💌 Join our Legacy Building community here, and reply to share:

How did you redefine who you are? And how has it shifted your business, your mindset, and your peace?

We’re not here to perform.

We’re here to build what outlives us.

Rooted with you,

~ Carolette

Let’s root deep. Let’s reach wide. Let’s build what outlives us.